Fifi's diary

Time: 9:11am Feeling: very calm. I was supposed to write on Monday, but I was a bit down. So, here I am, writing. I didn't plan to talk about this topic today, but someone wanted me to. So here it is. Plus I noticed more people read about relationships than other areas on this blog. Anyhoo, let's go. I love letters. The idea of them, the reality of them. I just love letters. I think they are a very personal way of communicating. I also like them because, if kept well, they can be read many years down the line, and the couple would have silent happy tears rolling down their cheeks. Every cute text I've ever gotten from the time we started talking till now has been written in a book, and I like that I can easily open a book and find them all there, and they've not gotten lost in the sea of other texts. I can just imagine us reading the book 50 years down the line, or this book even outliving us. I also love small notes, could be because I like writing, or becau

Time: Sometime this morning Feeling: Oh dear Christian, You think too highly of yourself, Acting all high and mighty, Forgetting it was grace that saved you. You think you were deserving? No! He looked on you with mercy, And considered you worthy, Even when you thought yourself unworthy. Now, you are saved, You look down on every unsaved person Thinking you are better, After all, you are God's beloved. You err. Have you forgotten what the Holy Book said, About love? About pride? About grace? About kindness? You seem to have forgotten The meaning of grace so soon. Unmerited favor, That is grace. The Bible also says, He that thinks he stands, Let him take heed, lest he falls. You may soon fall from your high and mighty, Then, you will remember Grace. And you will see the beauty of love. In my Christian journey, I keep learning about Kindness (something I never thought much about until quite recently). I used to be such a judge, feeling some

Time: Wrote this yesterday evening Feeling: Sleepy Why would anyone think I am always happy?!  Because I am always smiling on Instagram?    Because?  Because?  Because?  I have no other seemingly valid reason as to why anyone would think I am always happy. I have contemplated several times taking a selfie while I cry as proof to show I am a big crier and I get sad a lot. I really do want to do that, but it'll be weird, wouldn't it?  Why should it be weird?  Posting a picture of me crying like a normal person. Sigh* I dunno. I really would like to be very true on my Instagram, but I can't go posting pictures with snot, tears and red eyes.  Not once,  not twice,  not thrice, countless times, I've been asked, "why are you always happy?" I don't get it. I know how to fake smiles or laugh as though I mean it. I just did it now. Smiling makes me prettier (obviously), which is why I have to take pictures of me smiling. I'm not saying I'm a sad pers