Fifi's diary

I hate death. So much! Ironically, it is part of life. The only encounter I have had of someone close to me dying was when my grandmother passed away. It hurt so badly. I miss her so much. 2020 has been a really rough year, from Corona Virus to people dying left, right and centre. For every time a death has been confirmed, I am in total shock. I hurt for the lives they could have had and I hurt for their loved ones. No one can fill the void that would be left. Absolutely no one, because there's just one of them. For some reason, I always grieve alongside with them, because why should the life of someone that's so loved just be cut off? It seems so very unfair, yet it is 'fair' in a skewed way, because we all must die. Death causes so much pain, and I know it's selfish of me to say, but I don't want any of my loved ones to die. If the death of someone I never knew shakes me this much, I don't want to experience the death of another loved one. I als...

Time: Yesterday and today. Feeling: Sleepy. Been quite a while, I know. Sigh* My emotions were all over the place. Trust you're all great!  How'd Valentine's Day go?!  I like hearing that kind of gist.  What did you do?  Me?  I slept, I think . I don't even remember what I did. It was such a blur. Pinterest  I'm not about to write this because it's the 'month of love'. A coincidence, actually.  Someone on twitter said, " 'I love you' is mad basic" and I have a few things to say about it. I used to think saying 'I love you' all the time was boring. I used to think constantly saying 'I love you' didn't convey the depth of my love enough. Yunno, it seemed Blehhhh!  I used to find creative ways to convey my love. I still do - I mean, find creative ways to say 'I love you'. I have come to understand one thing, though. Nothing trumps 'I love you'. The problem is that love is a word that has b...

Feeling: I'm actually not feeling anything. I just want to pee. Time: 9:25 am Okay, first of all I have a confession. Remember I said  here , that I wasn't going to watch the remaining episodes of SGIT until today. Life happened. I watched it o. I watched everything the next day, I was so bored. Now that I've gotten the confession out of the way, I can welcome you to a new month. I'm thankful for how far God has brought each and every one of us. We all know this month is the month of love. There's a whole history of a certain Mr Valentino or something like that. I was told the story when I was in junior secondary school. I have never been stoked about it. It has always been a normal day for me. I don't think I ever received a gift while I was growing up. I have always been of the opinion that Valentine's Day shouldn't be the only day you get to receive love or give love to your partner, I mean, you have 365 days to do that. If anything, it ...

Feeling : Loved Time: 1:48 pm Growth is a word that's been at the back of my mind for a while now. Some days ago, my brother was telling me about how he felt he hadn't learnt so much in this one year of guitar training; he felt he should have been better. He was downloading some of his you tube videos, and he was like, "I should be this good already'. I reminded him that those ones were probably taught by physical teachers and have been at it for years and years. I told him that as far as I was concerned, I think he has come such a long way. His constant dedication and commitment to getting better is worthy of note. He has no teacher, mind you. I told him every one around him has clearly seen the growth in him, and he'll get better as years go by. I have been feeling this way of late, seeing everyone else do stuff, genuinely celebrating their growth, and clearly despising mine, but we all learn. It's easier to encourage someone else. It's easi...

Feeling: Sleepy Time: 11:43 am Holaa!! it feels like it's been ages... I'm watching a very silly movie with my brother, it's so cheesy, so much that we are predicting everything, and we are getting it right. Anywhos, yesterday, while we were making dinner, my sister and I were awwing and oohing at  Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas' wedding photos . They are so pretty! Mom had to ask us why we were squealing. Later at night, as we were slowly drifting off to sleep, we were talking about what Nick said about really knowing and dating her for 5 months and then just knowing they were right for each other. I have heard of shorter dating periods. 3-4 months, and I must say, I am very intrigued whenever I hear such stories. Some of these people last so long; they never divorce,  while some 'grow out of love'. Different strokes for different folks, you know. While there's absolutely not one size fits all rule for dating, I generally wouldn't advice ...

Feeling: At peace Time: 7:17am Okurrr (in case you never knew, yeah, I like cardi B, she's a whole mood). Okay, the truth is, it's not the FEVER video that got me thinking about this whole age issue in relationships. I've been thinking about it since we had rumors of Priyanka Chopra and Nick Jonas being in a relationship. I was stunned! By the time they got engaged, and saw the pictures, I thought it was cute (she doesn't even look older. Such beauty!) Then the FEVER video was released. It 'confirmed' what so many people had been thinking. To be honest, it's none of my business, but it really got me thinking. The video was received with a lot of umm... I wouldn't use the word hate, I'll use disgust.  So many people were disgusted by the idea of Tiwa, an older woman dating Wizkid.  Trust Nigerians to have really strong opinions. I asked myself if I could date a younger man; to be honest, it never ever crossed my mind. Really.  I'd alw...

Feeling: Hungry Time: 1:13p.m I don't know how to start this, it's about kindness, but somehow I don't know how to articulate my words, and it's weird. I could understand if I was about to talk, but I want to write, and I don't know how to explain myself. It could be because it's something so simple, yet so complicated. I don't know. It's sad that many of us have lost a grip on kindness. It's sad. We go on social media and type out whatever comes into our minds.  We like this freedom of speech thingy we have going on, so that we speak whatever we think without using filters. Speak, because, I'm really interested in talking about kind words and how far away they are from our lips. Even the instagram app has the filter feature to make a picture more appealing, to make the picture flawless. Since I can't really articulate my words properly, I may just write some points on how we can embrace kind words and end there. Maybe it's...

Feeling: Confused (should I go back to bed or not?) Time:7:05pm I've been wanting to talk about this for a week. Not necessarily because of our Independence Day, the state of Nigeria is always on my mind. I very much understand that Nigeria is not where it should be. It feels like we should be at the university level,  but somehow, just somehow we're still in primary six.  Sigh* It's sad. Disheartening, actually. I understand. We pour out our frustrations a lot, and that's okay, I mean, if no one is complaining, then something is wrong, but we know that sometimes, complaints don't do much, they actually worsen the situation. Especially complaints that aren't backed with the right actions. I don't fancy it much when everyone sits back and complains on twitter. You're complaining on twitter but aren't doing much in reality to help our nation, or let's even say your community, if that's too large, let's say your neighbor. Not a li...

Feeling : Energized Time: 7:03am There are so many lovely pictures of couples looking cute, wearing matching outfits, doing cool things and stuff... I'm even one to go 'awwn' but one thing I never say under those pictures or to myself is '#relationshipgoals'. I'm no hater I admire cute things, but never will I see someone's relationship and call it #goals. There are things that may be worthy of emulation, no disputing, but I think making other people's relationships your own goal, or saying 'goals' for goals sake is a little bit extreme  for three reasons.  They are two individuals entirely different from you. So that what works for them may not work for you . You don't necessarily know what's behind all the glitz and glamour . You may not be ready to put in all the work those people are putting to make their relationship work. You probably can tell by now that I cringe a bit when I see the under the comment section 'r...

Feeling:  Energetic and hungry Time: 9:21a.m. Today’s post is giving me goosebumps, because I’m so excited!!! It’s a featured post!!!   In this age, CO LIVING  doesn’t seem to be a new thing, it’s like everybody is into  it. It’s like a norm. I really didn’t want this post to seem subjective, so I asked not one, but many people this question, ' what do you think of co living. Like a guy and a girl are dating, but they live together . What’s your take on it, and why do you think they do it?' So, let’s hear from teens, singles (by singles, I don’t mean not in a relationship) and married peeps what they have to say concerning this issue. *rubs hands dramatically. Single ladies first. Ore  “It’s wrong. What’s wrong is wrong. I feel like a girl might lose her dignity and value that way. ” Fifi : Okay, what if they have plans to get married? After all, they’ll still live together when they get married. They might as well just start it yeah? ...

Feeling: Really sleepy  Time: 12:12a.m One thing that makes me really uncomfortable is visiting people. It's a huge chore for me, I'd rather stay in my room all day with my phone and note pads, a book to read and loads of junk. I could be indoors for a whole week. I dunno if this is an entirely bad thing, but I really love my space which makes it hard for me to be the best host. This one, I know is not really cool. I remember when I was at home, and my parents told us we were going to have  a guest. I was the only one that had a problem with it. We had to move to the boys' room temporarily (Dang!)  I'd do extra and earlier cooking (noo) I would not have mom to myself anymore (maddening). I probably just don't like all the hustle and bustle that comes along with having a guest. Being kind doesn't necessarily mean giving people physical stuff, giving people your time could be a form of kindness. In this area, I could be  very selfish, especially when I do...

Feeling: Stressed. Time: 9:39pm Let me dive right in, cause this battery won't last too long. Today I want talk about something that so many people think about. WEDDINGS . @lumimorg.   Weddings are a big deal in every part of the world, but Nigeria takes it to another level. They even say that "Saturdays are for owambes" Oh my word!!! You need to see the way it is done. People "spray" money like insecticide, (if you've seen the wedding party, a Nigerian movie, you'll understand) people dance like no one's watching (and everyone is watching!!!) , just about anything is incorporated into that reception program. @GeorgeOkoroweddings   In fact, people want their pictures to make it to popular wedding pages like @bellanaijaweddings, @Nigerianweddings @weddingdigestnaija. Lol yeah I check out those pages to see cute couples while I "awwwn" and "ooh". They mostly have two weddings. one's the traditional wedding(the...

Hi friends , I hope you all had a splendid week?  I had a great week as well, thank God. Yeah, so, moving on to what I'll talk about today. It's going to be quite short LOL (Yeah, I'll spare you my long talks. Just for now though), and it might be long. Who knows? I'll be talking about one amazing fruit of the spirit, and that fruit of the spirit issss *drumroll* KINDNESS!!!  Before I start though there's one song I used to sing as a kid. Lemme just write out the lyrics (it's not long) Sing a song of Joy Sing a song of happiness Do a deed of kindness today Do a deed of kindness  Do a deed of Kindness everyday THE END (not the end of this post o) Many of us know that as Christians, we should be kind and all, because it shows the Holy Spirit is in us, but how many of us are actually kind? It should be who we are. Kindness isn't until you give someone one million dollars, naira or pounds. You don't have to have a lot until you're kind.  It th...