On relationship goals...
Feeling : Energized
Time: 7:03am
You probably can tell by now that I cringe a bit when I see the under the comment section 'relationship goals' , at least the way it's being said.
Of course there are always flip sides, for example, if you know up close (not from IG) a particular couple, and they're quite open about their relationship, the realities, yunno, and you truly admire these people and the ways they handle their relationship, that can be a goal, to have a good relationship, a strong one where you put in the work YOU need to put in your relationship , to find ways specific and unique to your own relationship. These kind of 'goals' are silent vows to one's self, not carelessly spoken in the rush of emotions, or from you seeing a couple wearing matching Louboutins.
I think that when next you see a relationship you admire, you should stop and pause before commenting 'goals', and ask yourself if it's about the cool clothes or about the work being put in. I'm pretty sure most of you who comment 'goals' are in one relationship or the other, so, why can't your own relationship be your goal?
I personally believe in envisioning what I want my relationship to be like, and putting in the work that's necessary. I mean, if I know what I want my relationship to look like, I might as well start building it now. You dig?
Another thing I don't agree with that's quite common, is the concept of not giving all of you. The concept of saving a little part of you for yourself, just in case. Not many people would agree, but I think it's selfish. I won't even say it doesn't make sense. It's very logical. Seems sensible, but like I told human some months ago "what's half loving when I can love wholly and get the full dose?' Plus it won't be cute if I'm being given someone's all, and I keep a portion of myself. That's seeking my own advantage, and 1corinthians 13 has made it clear love doesn't do that. It's rather pointless to me. I'd rather give my all, loving with faith. It's all faith, really.
One of my brothers and I were discussing when we were making dinner, and he said "Lois, why don't you reserve a little portion of yourself for your sanity?" Very sensible question. I told him I'd rather not. I told him It had to be all of me, and I asked 'am I not sane?' his response was funny, 'no, you're pretty much mad right now.' I laughed so hard, we both laughed hard, our parents must have been wondering what was making us so noisy (they don't fancy when we cook together, it's like more talk and less work in their eyes, but what is doing something you love when you can't have fun while at it?) I said, 'it's good, I'm madly in love.'
Love isn't selfish. It's not just a sentence that's void of meaning. Just really think about Love. Think about God, after all God is synonymous with love. Think about the world. Think about him giving his own son. Think about that son willingly giving his life. Just really think, and be objective while you're at it. Think about you. Think about the person you claim to love.
I think it'll be weird and imbalanced not giving all of yourself, and yet, trying to work on your relationship, or trying to emulate the good things of another person's relationship. It's like trying to fill a basket with water, and trust me, it's tiring ,and one day you'd get tired of trying and you'll call it quits.
Much love,
Fifi.
Time: 7:03am
There are so many lovely pictures of couples looking cute, wearing matching outfits, doing cool things and stuff... I'm even one to go 'awwn' but one thing I never say under those pictures or to myself is '#relationshipgoals'. I'm no hater I admire cute things, but never will I see someone's relationship and call it #goals. There are things that may be worthy of emulation, no disputing, but I think making other people's relationships your own goal, or saying 'goals' for goals sake is a little bit extreme for three reasons.
- They are two individuals entirely different from you. So that what works for them may not work for you .
- You don't necessarily know what's behind all the glitz and glamour .
- You may not be ready to put in all the work those people are putting to make their relationship work.
You probably can tell by now that I cringe a bit when I see the under the comment section 'relationship goals' , at least the way it's being said.
Of course there are always flip sides, for example, if you know up close (not from IG) a particular couple, and they're quite open about their relationship, the realities, yunno, and you truly admire these people and the ways they handle their relationship, that can be a goal, to have a good relationship, a strong one where you put in the work YOU need to put in your relationship , to find ways specific and unique to your own relationship. These kind of 'goals' are silent vows to one's self, not carelessly spoken in the rush of emotions, or from you seeing a couple wearing matching Louboutins.
I think that when next you see a relationship you admire, you should stop and pause before commenting 'goals', and ask yourself if it's about the cool clothes or about the work being put in. I'm pretty sure most of you who comment 'goals' are in one relationship or the other, so, why can't your own relationship be your goal?
I personally believe in envisioning what I want my relationship to be like, and putting in the work that's necessary. I mean, if I know what I want my relationship to look like, I might as well start building it now. You dig?
Another thing I don't agree with that's quite common, is the concept of not giving all of you. The concept of saving a little part of you for yourself, just in case. Not many people would agree, but I think it's selfish. I won't even say it doesn't make sense. It's very logical. Seems sensible, but like I told human some months ago "what's half loving when I can love wholly and get the full dose?' Plus it won't be cute if I'm being given someone's all, and I keep a portion of myself. That's seeking my own advantage, and 1corinthians 13 has made it clear love doesn't do that. It's rather pointless to me. I'd rather give my all, loving with faith. It's all faith, really.
One of my brothers and I were discussing when we were making dinner, and he said "Lois, why don't you reserve a little portion of yourself for your sanity?" Very sensible question. I told him I'd rather not. I told him It had to be all of me, and I asked 'am I not sane?' his response was funny, 'no, you're pretty much mad right now.' I laughed so hard, we both laughed hard, our parents must have been wondering what was making us so noisy (they don't fancy when we cook together, it's like more talk and less work in their eyes, but what is doing something you love when you can't have fun while at it?) I said, 'it's good, I'm madly in love.'
Love isn't selfish. It's not just a sentence that's void of meaning. Just really think about Love. Think about God, after all God is synonymous with love. Think about the world. Think about him giving his own son. Think about that son willingly giving his life. Just really think, and be objective while you're at it. Think about you. Think about the person you claim to love.
I think it'll be weird and imbalanced not giving all of yourself, and yet, trying to work on your relationship, or trying to emulate the good things of another person's relationship. It's like trying to fill a basket with water, and trust me, it's tiring ,and one day you'd get tired of trying and you'll call it quits.
Much love,
Fifi.
Well composed write up, and amazing point but you never gave your idea or perception of your own kinda relationship
ReplyDelete