My little guide on relationships.
Feeling: Light
Time: 9:03am
My heart feels really light, and if I were a superstitious person, I'd say something good will happen today. I feel anxious in a good way, like I'm expecting something. Let's see how the day goes. I'll probably give an update at the end of the day; I'll let you guys know if something good truly happened or not. Maybe it's not about me sef.
Whew!
Okay, I often think about how men are really different from women and how we have so many misunderstandings arising from these differences that seem to pop up everytime. This isn't really about feminism or any of that stuff. One wish of mine is for everyone to come to some understanding, to reach a compromise of some sorts, but I think that as human beings, selflessness isn't really our strongest forte. Side note: I'm growing out my nails.
I've read two or three books that talk about the intrinsic differences between a man and a woman. How men are more logical and women are more emotional (which isn't a bad thing), also about how men would rather not talk much about stuff and how women would tell you every little detail about their day; about how men don't really feel the need to see their friends as often as women do. So much more.
Now, the amazing thing is that these two totally different people come together to form a relationship. Platonic or not. Let's dwell on the not part. The non platonic relationships.
Twitter is a very big community where tons of uninformed advice are being dished out concerning relationships on a daily basis. Only a not so wise person would gladly listen to most of them. Now, I'm not a relationship counsellor, but I know there are really amazing ways of handling the differences we have, and even bring some good out of it.
My first advice will be 'be as open as you possibly can'. Talk about things that bother you, things that make you happy. I'll give an example. I understand that women are really emotional, they can be sad, annoyed even, because of a word the guy said, that he didn't even think much of, and then they go all quiet on him or give him a hard time. I always tell myself, he's not a magician so why not make it easy for him? Let him know, he won't know if I don't tell him. You tell him, and he makes amends. It's that easy.
My second advice, be kind . This should be the first if you ask me.
You can strike a balance between the logicality of the man and the emotions of a woman. One person cannot always be right, be as open as you can. You can find some sense in his way of thinking and he can find some sense in your own opinion too. If you don't find so much sense in what he's saying, it can be said politely and kindly, same goes for him.
I do not see a point in fighting. I really don't. I personally believe you can be in a relationship without having heated arguments or conflicts even. All the more amazing when your partner believes the very same thing. It's not to say you won't have different views on a topic, or he won't do stuff to annoy you, or you him. It all just depends on how you work through the disagreement. Many people are of the opinion that you have to fight in a relationship, after all, you are two different people. Oh well, yeah, you're two different people but you can solve things peacefully. I can assure you of this. I used to tell my brother this, and he would always disagree, until we had a proper discussion about it, and he finally agreed. If one or two of you have the natural disposition to always win, regardless (of the hurt that you may cause) or fight stuff out, there'll always be crazy conflict. It's why you need to change your disposition, it'll reduce friction.
I'll also say that you should be willing to understand the other person. The other person may not be right, the least you could do is see from the other person's perspective, hear the other person out (really, most people want to be heard and understood) and then kindly make the other person see what he or she isn't getting right.
You should get over pride too, it kills the relationship.
Two days ago, my brother was mad at me, I didn't like it at all. I spent the whole day sleeping in my room, cos I figured he was not in the mood to talk to me, plus he was watching a movie. I kept in thinking of ways to get back on track with him without him biting me. Eventually we did. The problem was that he heard me wrong and he interpreted what I said wrongly. I made him understand that I didn't really mean what I said the way he took it, and I didn't like how long it took before we talked about it.
Personally, I don't like being mad at a person for too long, I always want to talk it out. I can't be walking around with the burden, please. It makes life stressful, being mad for too long.
Despite our innate differences, men and women can live and be together in peace and harmony.
Anywhos, those are the little nuggets I have to share with you.
All you have to do is to be intentional. It gets easier from there.
Update: It's 2:01pm been about my dad's breakfast, mine and other things, nothing special has happened yet.
Much Love,
Fifi
Time: 9:03am
My heart feels really light, and if I were a superstitious person, I'd say something good will happen today. I feel anxious in a good way, like I'm expecting something. Let's see how the day goes. I'll probably give an update at the end of the day; I'll let you guys know if something good truly happened or not. Maybe it's not about me sef.
Whew!
Okay, I often think about how men are really different from women and how we have so many misunderstandings arising from these differences that seem to pop up everytime. This isn't really about feminism or any of that stuff. One wish of mine is for everyone to come to some understanding, to reach a compromise of some sorts, but I think that as human beings, selflessness isn't really our strongest forte. Side note: I'm growing out my nails.
I've read two or three books that talk about the intrinsic differences between a man and a woman. How men are more logical and women are more emotional (which isn't a bad thing), also about how men would rather not talk much about stuff and how women would tell you every little detail about their day; about how men don't really feel the need to see their friends as often as women do. So much more.
Now, the amazing thing is that these two totally different people come together to form a relationship. Platonic or not. Let's dwell on the not part. The non platonic relationships.
Twitter is a very big community where tons of uninformed advice are being dished out concerning relationships on a daily basis. Only a not so wise person would gladly listen to most of them. Now, I'm not a relationship counsellor, but I know there are really amazing ways of handling the differences we have, and even bring some good out of it.
My first advice will be 'be as open as you possibly can'. Talk about things that bother you, things that make you happy. I'll give an example. I understand that women are really emotional, they can be sad, annoyed even, because of a word the guy said, that he didn't even think much of, and then they go all quiet on him or give him a hard time. I always tell myself, he's not a magician so why not make it easy for him? Let him know, he won't know if I don't tell him. You tell him, and he makes amends. It's that easy.
My second advice, be kind . This should be the first if you ask me.
You can strike a balance between the logicality of the man and the emotions of a woman. One person cannot always be right, be as open as you can. You can find some sense in his way of thinking and he can find some sense in your own opinion too. If you don't find so much sense in what he's saying, it can be said politely and kindly, same goes for him.
I do not see a point in fighting. I really don't. I personally believe you can be in a relationship without having heated arguments or conflicts even. All the more amazing when your partner believes the very same thing. It's not to say you won't have different views on a topic, or he won't do stuff to annoy you, or you him. It all just depends on how you work through the disagreement. Many people are of the opinion that you have to fight in a relationship, after all, you are two different people. Oh well, yeah, you're two different people but you can solve things peacefully. I can assure you of this. I used to tell my brother this, and he would always disagree, until we had a proper discussion about it, and he finally agreed. If one or two of you have the natural disposition to always win, regardless (of the hurt that you may cause) or fight stuff out, there'll always be crazy conflict. It's why you need to change your disposition, it'll reduce friction.
I'll also say that you should be willing to understand the other person. The other person may not be right, the least you could do is see from the other person's perspective, hear the other person out (really, most people want to be heard and understood) and then kindly make the other person see what he or she isn't getting right.
You should get over pride too, it kills the relationship.
Two days ago, my brother was mad at me, I didn't like it at all. I spent the whole day sleeping in my room, cos I figured he was not in the mood to talk to me, plus he was watching a movie. I kept in thinking of ways to get back on track with him without him biting me. Eventually we did. The problem was that he heard me wrong and he interpreted what I said wrongly. I made him understand that I didn't really mean what I said the way he took it, and I didn't like how long it took before we talked about it.
Personally, I don't like being mad at a person for too long, I always want to talk it out. I can't be walking around with the burden, please. It makes life stressful, being mad for too long.
Despite our innate differences, men and women can live and be together in peace and harmony.
Anywhos, those are the little nuggets I have to share with you.
All you have to do is to be intentional. It gets easier from there.
Update: It's 2:01pm been about my dad's breakfast, mine and other things, nothing special has happened yet.
Much Love,
Fifi
Sometimes, best bet to talk about things maturely and with a disposition of kindness. Sometimes, best to just let an issue slide. Especially when you knowledge person didn't mean any harm. These things are workable to the extent that both parties want it to work, are willing to put in the effort, and infect do put in the effort. Cheers!
ReplyDeleteI agree. "These things are workable to the extent that both parties want it to work, are willing to put in the effort, and in fact do put in the effort." Thissss is it! 💝💝
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